These camo gym shorts??? BABYYYY… I put them on and immediately felt like I could bench-press my past trauma, outrun all my exes red flags, AND reorganize my entire life in one afternoon.
One squat and I swore I deserved a brand deal.
Two squats and I started planning a fitness empire called ‘Booty by Accident.’
Three squats and I got delusional influencer confidence so bad I almost started giving strangers gym advice.
The FIT??
Snatched.
Lifted.
Held together tighter than my sanity during the holidays.
They don’t ride up my thighs like they’re trying to summit Mount Everest.
They stay PUT. Like a loyal friend who brings snacks.
And the booty lift?? EXCUSE ME.
I bent down to tie my shoe and caught myself blushing at my own reflection. I literally apologized to ME for looking this good.
The camo print? Girl.
This isn’t camouflage.
This is MILITARY MILF ENERGY.
I look like I survive the apocalypse, thrive in it, and somehow still manage to flirt with the air.
I walked past the mirror at the gym and giggled like a Disney villain.
10/10.
These shorts turned me into a chaotic menace with Olympic-level confidence.
Wear at your own risk, society might not be ready.